Floating

I think I may be one of life’s floaters. All this talk of careers has really got me thinking of what I want to do in life and the reality for me that I want to do everything. I enjoy practicals but feel that if I was told to plan something on my own then I would end causing havoc and leak hazardous strains of E.coli that I accidentally mutated and start a major epidemic. Writing is where I feel safe, you can undo a bad sentence simply by holding down one button on your keyboard and no one has to know! I do have ultimate goals in life which basically consist of having my own donkeys and a dog with maybe some alpacas, sheep and ducks thrown in too. To achieve this, I know that I will have to work and earn some money but how to go about this has been a constant conundrum. Whether or not to carry on with science and get a job in that area is a possibility, however I fluctuate between loving my degree subject and then the next minute never wanting anything to do with it after graduating.

I go through phases of wanting to go chalet- maiding, dog walking, doing a season with a sailing company and becoming a ski instructor but none of these jobs seem to be something that people do for the rest of their lives. I know that being inside all the time or being in the same place day in day out is not for me; I need something mentally stimulating but finding a job that encompasses all of the things that I want to do may be hard and unrealistic.

Recently at university I have had a module that is based around careers and thinking about what is next for us after we graduate. This has made me think about my future more than ever and unfortunately panic has set in and I’m left with wondering if I can ever be passionate about for more than three weeks. For a lot of people, a career is a job where you start out in a company and work your way up to a more senior role. For me though, a career is what you make it; many different jobs that may or may not be connected or maybe floating could be a career; I’d be good at that.

Either way I know that I will use whatever job I get to fund my dreams which is exactly what my parents have done. We live in a small house, our cars are old and we don’t eat out a lot but all the money that is saved is put into going on holiday and building up memories that we can look back on a be glad that we spent the money on experience rather than things.

I am lucky that my parents will support me emotionally no matter what I end up doing and my mum constantly reminds me that I will always have a room at home. They spur me on to make the most of the time that I have, and even though I’m only twenty and probably have bags of time left, I don’t want to waste any of it. A lot of what scares me about moving into the big wide world is moving into a job where I don’t know what I’m doing. This, as I’m constantly reminded by my dad, stems from my first swimming gala where in the days before I was scared stiff of no knowing where to go but as I found out, there will always be someone there to guide you.

I wonder if there is a guide for floating in the right direction.

Hopefully.

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